Jamie Foxx or Schrödinger's Cat?
Only celebrities can be both dead and alive at the same time.
I don’t know why this is bothering me so much because I’m not even a huge Jamie Foxx fan. And every time I hear that a celebrity is hosting a game show, a little piece of me dies.
Celebrities used to be celebrities, and gameshow hosts were gameshow hosts, and never the twain shall meet.
I blame Mr. Grabby Hands, Richard Dawson.
But the days are long gone when Rock Hudson could hide the fact that he was super-duper gay for several decades. Rock wasn’t on Instagram and Twitter and Flakebook and Cameo. His every waking moment wasn’t immortalized on the internet.
Today, if you want to play the fame game, you open a vein and sign your pact with the Devil.
This seems really obvious to me, but apparently it’s a hard lesson to learn (Please refer to Exhibit A, Harry and Meghan.)
I mean, I understand that a celeb’s team needs to do some degree of damage control for the sake of future career viability and income potential, if there’s any hope at all of a recovery. There are a lot of people feeding off each major celebrity like a school of remoras attached to a shark. They all have skin in the game.
Jeremy Renner’s people came clean almost immediately that he was run over by his own snow plow. They decided to show proof of life as soon as humanly possible, despite his catastrophic injuries.
This is in stark contrast to the Jamie Foxx Magical Mystery Tour we’re all on right now.
Jamie’s people have chosen the unfortunate term “medical complication”, apparently unaware that “complication” implies something more, something precedent to said complication. Something like…something nobody wants to talk about.
A big problem with being a major movie star is insurability.
This article gives you some idea of the problem, and of the type of behavior that can put the kibosh on a star’s earning potential:
For any production that features actors, musicians or other types of live entertainment, “artist liability” insurance can help protect the production’s bankrollers from financial damage in the event that the star is not able to complete his role, or if he says or does something damaging that results in a lawsuit against the production company.
The stars in that article all have one thing in common and it’s not their horoscope sign.
Look, you don’t get to be a star AND have privacy. You just don’t.
And guess what? Lying doesn’t help. It’s going to come out, whatever “it” is. Good, bad, or indifferent, everybody’s going to find out and there’s zero point in being coy.
Of course, the reverse psychology aspect is all the free publicity JF’s getting right now. But I don’t really think that’s a conscious angle on anyone’s part.
No, Jamie Foxx has somehow fucked up very badly, and eventually we’ll know all the hows, whens, and whys.
Just, please, spare me the disingenuous Instagram BS posted by his PR team.
“Look! Jamie must be alive and fully in control of all his faculties! He posted on Instagram! His daughter says he’s playing pickleball!”
Uh, no.
Schrödinger's cat could also post on Instagram, and we still wouldn’t know if it was alive or dead.
Yup, entertainers are a peculiar form of contractors. Something always seems to be up with this crowd when suddenly they start to show up as pitch people in one of thousands of digital cable channels accessing those folks who couldn't transition to our fabulous internet cluster F'k, you just know their big contract was in trouble or gone.
Anyway, whatever happens to their lives in any crisis makes their PR handling agency have to crank out dubious publicity stories, which is probably the case for JF's situation.
I wasn’t aware of anything going on with Jamie Foxx. But all in all this is pretty darn funny.