To quote Led Zepplin (quoting Einstein, I believe—the boys were big on theoretical physics), everything changes.
I used to help people in my job as a legal secretary by filing their bankruptcies. That might sound like a weird way to help people, but they were happy about it once they got over the shock and fear.
There’s nothing to be afraid of, I told them. It’s just paper. No one else will even know.
They were free of crushing debt caused by forces outside of their control and could start fresh.
Nobody files bankruptcy anymore. It’s sort of bizarre if you think about it. The world falls apart, but there’s more money and financial aid around than ever. Especially for homeowners, which was a big driver of our business.
I still want to help people, but only if it doesn’t involve needles or blood or poo.
I also want to be informative and instructive, which is the frustrated professor in me. (I was supposed to join the U.S. Foreign Service, if you can wrap your head around that one.)
Unfortunately, everybody still files for divorce or fights with their baby mama/daddy. And that’s all I do now in my day job.
Divorce, divorce, divorce. Fight, fight, fight.
These are not happy people, and they take it out on us, the people trying to solve their problems.
Because they don’t really want us to solve their problems. They just want to fight.
Welcome to America.
I’ve had what feels like my final blow-up with my boss of 15 years, and I want out. But change is scary, and that fear makes us stuck—stuck in a job, stuck in a marriage, stuck in a way of thinking.
Is change always progress? It is if you choose to believe it is.
“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” – Dalai Lama
Sorry to get all squishy on you, but life really is short. Too short to argue with somebody every day or be insulted or dread getting up in the morning.
I know what I want. I want to:
Write.
Take care of my (92-year-old, omfg) mom.
Pay attention to my mental health.
Play with my dog.
Not be afraid.
I’m tearing up a little. When it’s just there in front of you, it doesn’t seem like a lot to ask. Like, why have these things been so hard to achieve? Not be afraid. That one’s going to take a little work.
Anyway, shoot me a problem you’d like me to weigh in on, or just follow along as I try to find the humor in literally everything.
You can always find me on Medium or in the pages of The Funny Times, which you should subscribe to immediately—Go. Go now. Every issue is so crammed with articles and cartoons, it’ll take you days to read it all. There’s Dave Barry, Andy Borowitz, me (which of these things is not like the others?).
Plus, where else are you going to buy groovy retro T-shirts?
If you’d like to be a paying member or shoot me a coffee, I will cry and slobber all over you, but from a distance. I’m not really a toucher.
Love,
Bev
It cheered me immensely to see you here. I'm sure this was a big step, and you took it, so good on you! Now let's go to your list. It's not unreasonable, it's natural, and probably in one way or another what all of us want. The stickler is point 5, to not be afraid. I've been there more than a few times, and I learned the secret. For $500 I can teach it to you in 26 weeks! No, just kidding. The secret is this: We're all afraid, and will continue to be afraid from time to time. It's wired into us from birth. Otherwise we'd be dead as soon as we became mobile. What you have to do is accept that fact, and act anyway. One trick is to imagine the absolute worst outcome, and realize that it won't kill you. If/when it doesn't turn out that way, you'll feel even better. Ironically you've already done this for others when you helped them file for bankruptcy. They felt like they were at the end of their rope, ready to jump off the proverbial cliff. You guided them, and gave them back a life. Those of us who have followed you here did it because (picture Sally Field) we like you, we really like you! As for what to write, let your heart tell you. When you are down, go for funny. When things are looking up, tug our heartstrings, maybe prompt a tear. We're here for YOU.
I hope you'll be able to leave that job sooner rather than later, salvaging what's left of your soul. Hang in there, my friend.